My husband is back!! Good thing.......i really do not know.
I had it all worked out in my mind how things were going to be, but as per usual nothing i do ever goes to plan!! He came home for his things and as he was packing we were talking. He became very emotional and upset which just broke my heart. I really couldn't bare seeing him such a broken man. It would be so easy if he was a total bastard but he isn't. He is the nicest most loving caring man i have ever met!! I just don't find what we have enough any more. I feel he is my best friend, a soul mate, so how can i hurt someone i care about so like that?? 
I have told him i don't know if i want him to stay because its what i want or if it is because i feel sorry for him?? And that is the truth.....i really do not know what i want!!
Expecting him to say he cannot live like that and going anyway. But no, he just put his arms around me and said thankyou.........??!
If i wanted him so much would u really be fucking about??
Is it possible to have your cake and eat it?? 
Is the saying true that what they don't know wont hurt them??
I just don't know anything anymore, except one thing.....i need my lovers more than ever 
