tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2009-11-09:/A married mums scandals!!MokoFeed2009-11-09T00:30:20+01:00tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-10-27:/2008/10/27/the-time-ive-been-away-4940248/amanda322008-10-27T15:46:01+01:002008-10-27T15:46:01+01:00 <p>Well the term, "up and down" has certainly been my life for the past few months! Seperated from my hubby and now waiting for a devorce i am utterly drained, both mentally and emotionally...can it get any worse? Truth is i think yes... my house is for sale as i cannot afford to stay here and i am totally devastated.<br> This said I do not regret my decision and am even more determined to see it through...i am strong i know i am.<br> I have met a guy who is the total opposite of my ex....totally....but hes been good to me and without his support im pretty sure i would not have managed. Problem is i have begun to depend upon him as i did my ex, this is not good...i need to be very careful i dont fall into a trap!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/10/27/the-time-ive-been-away-4940248/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-06-29:/2008/06/29/i-wanna-kill-some-one-4380926/amanda322008-06-29T17:30:09+02:002008-06-29T17:32:52+02:00 <p>I have got to write...i need to get my anger under control, maybe this is gonna help. I wanna rip someones fuckin head off, jesus i wanna explode.</p> <p>How dare my EX call me the most disgustin names and mentally torture me for meetin some 1 else.....who this afternoon dumped me b4 it even started.</p> <p>All friday night into the early hours i was been harrassed by him...he made me feel so low i felt i could have just died and no-one would a give a damn.</p> <p>My daughter comes home from her dads and tells me shes seen something and is scared to cause trouble, i tell her of ccourse she wont be in trouble and can tell me anythin. Next thing im throwin chairs around and screamin the house down.</p> <p>Her dad has been shaggin a slag and has denied ever doing so, on the very night i received a load of abuse off him he was phonin her up!! Im gonna make him pay for this....the low life scum bag.</p> <p>He actually expects me to believe that she phoned him at 12.30 pm (he didnt have her number haha)to tell him she was out with her cousin who he knows him!! Why the hell would she do that??<br> I said why did u phone her back, (he denied).......until i told him our daughter had seen the call minder on his phone, and it was there in black and white....bastard...wanker, fuckin twat......hate liers, hate them.</p> <p>Hes made my life a misery cali me slag because i have see a guy, when all along he is doin it too.</p> <p>Someone will pay for this, mark my words</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/06/29/i-wanna-kill-some-one-4380926/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-06-28:/2008/06/28/im-back-4374237/amanda322008-06-28T06:00:31+02:002008-06-28T06:00:31+02:00 <p>I am in a sad place and i guess that is why im back here writing it all down again. It seems to help when i can write it down and reflect on it later. Still split, still un-happy, still not knowing wot the hell i am doing!!! I know i will never be back with hubby and i know i made the right decision. He knows it too and has turned on the nasty tap....god how cruel he is, a side i have never seen, a side that is just damn right nasty!<br> Im a slag, a whore, a bad mother....words that have cut me like a razor through my wrists. I dont know if im upset because he thinks so little of me after giving him 15 yrs of my life and 3 beautiful children, or if its because what he says is true?<br> Am i a slag...i feel disgusted at my self, words he used only the other day!!<br> My insides are turning over making me feel sick, when will this feeling go away.......</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/06/28/im-back-4374237/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-04-16:/2008/04/16/the-games-up-4052595/amanda322008-04-16T16:36:48+02:002008-04-16T16:36:48+02:00 <p>Ok my emotions are up and down the same as my blog has been just lately.<br> My marriage is over, he has gone, i am relieved in one sense but terrified i may have just made the biggest mistake in my life....time will tell.</p> <p>He like me has sensed a change of tides in our marriage, a change that is not just going to go away!! He too cannot live the way we have been doing and i am in a haze at the moment i feel numb and lost!!</p> <p>My lover N made me laugh as he is so vain as to think i had left hubby for him!! As if!!<br> He is a distraction, a good one yes, but for him to even think i wanted more from him is totally laughable. He was soon settled when i told him i would rather stay home unhappy with hubby than even imagine been with him!!</p> <p>The kids are really ok...at the moment!! They too are sick of seeing mom and dad arguing, it has had a knock on effect on them too.</p> <p>Anyway what will be will be...as a blog friend said, how true </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/04/16/the-games-up-4052595/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-04-15:/2008/04/15/all-confused-4048234/amanda322008-04-15T16:49:21+02:002008-04-15T16:52:21+02:00 <p>My husband is back!! Good thing.......i really do not know.</p> <p>I had it all worked out in my mind how things were going to be, but as per usual nothing i do ever goes to plan!! He came home for his things and as he was packing we were talking. He became very emotional and upset which just broke my heart. I really couldn't bare seeing him such a broken man. It would be so easy if he was a total bastard but he isn't. He is the nicest most loving caring man i have ever met!! I just don't find what we have enough any more. I feel he is my best friend, a soul mate, so how can i hurt someone i care about so like that?? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I have told him i don't know if i want him to stay because its what i want or if it is because i feel sorry for him?? And that is the truth.....i really do not know what i want!!<br> Expecting him to say he cannot live like that and going anyway. But no, he just put his arms around me and said thankyou.........??!</p> <p>If i wanted him so much would u really be fucking about??</p> <p>Is it possible to have your cake and eat it?? <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Is the saying true that what they don't know wont hurt them??</p> <p>I just don't know anything anymore, except one thing.....i need my lovers more than ever <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/04/15/all-confused-4048234/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-04-12:/2008/04/12/its-all-over-4035435/amanda322008-04-12T20:31:27+02:002008-04-12T20:31:27+02:00 <p>Ok my marriage has been strained for a long time and it has finally snapped, finished, ended!!! Its my decision and it has been waiting to be made for a while. I know I'm relieved in a sense but hell do i feel sick to my stomach!!</p> <p>The kids are devastated, he is beside himself, i feel guilty, but can i stay in a marriage because of guilt, no.....it wouldn't be fair on any of us.</p> <p>I'm scared, upset, worried.....we have been together since i was 17 yrs old and i have only known life with him!!</p> <p>Sorry </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/04/12/its-all-over-4035435/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-04-07:/2008/04/07/kids-at-school-4011810/amanda322008-04-07T20:17:29+02:002008-04-07T20:17:29+02:00 <p>OK easter holidays over, kids back to school....yippee!!<br> Is it just me that gets hugely hormonal and hits the self destruct button when the kids are home, jesus talk about blow-in a friggin gasket. I have never been a mumsy mum bet lately been any kinda mum has been hard.</p> <p>I gotta 11 yr old daughter who thinks shes 18. Lippy, gob shite, snappy, rude, stubborn and has more hormone's than a contraceptive pill!! </p> <p>Then there's my 7 yr old, who is her sisters side kick!! Copies the common cheek which orates from my eldest's mouth perfectly........and on top of this she is sooooooooo mardy!!</p> <p>Then my sweet little angel cheeks, 3 yr old child from hell, don't believe me then you have him!! He screams and screams and screams.......bangs doors, stomps his feet and talks back. Yes talks back, i never in a million years thought i would ever have my child act like the way he does towards me!!</p> <p>The noise in our home is off the scale, a bit like if you are sat in the middle of a busy train station or in a built up part of town. Then theres the animals, the loody animals!!<br> I now have an incontinant dog that is an escape atist, we should have called him dodger. He jumps on the sides, the table, pulls down my blinds as he gets tangeled in them.....etc</p> <p>I need to take a deep breath and remind myself i am human and its ok to say im tired, i had enough and for gods sake KIDS SHURRUP!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/04/07/kids-at-school-4011810/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-04-06:/2008/04/06/hi-blog-land-4004121/amanda322008-04-06T18:51:23+02:002008-04-06T18:52:25+02:00 <p>Well where to start......everything that could be turned upside down in my life has been!!<br> If you have read my earlier blogs you will know i have been through a kind of midlife crisis...still going through it. I find i am a very selfish person who needs or indeed wants everything. And is not content with making the most of what i have got.</p> <p>The chat rooms were, indeed are still part of my life. In-fact i have stepped up a notch and have met a few guys off there. I am addicted to the thrill of the first meet, the feeling of utter excitement and the total buzz that comes with it.</p> <p>The first guy was a disaster, waste of time, i chose unwisely!! The second was better but still not right somehow. Both were brief encounters, a drink at the pub, a kiss goodbye, me knowing i would not be meeting them again.</p> <p>But the third....mmmmm....jack pot. Young, handsome and the thing my dreams have been made of. Tall, dark and handsome. Smells so nice, tastes even better!! The pierced eyebrow he wears turns me on, i cannot help just looking at him, i get wet just sitting beside him and when he touches me i am in a heaven i have not felt for such a long, long time.</p> <p>Our last meet was amazing, i wore a fitted button up dress, high black knee length boots<br> and sexy red lace undies. My 36E cup breasts looked amazing and i felt good. The look on his young face said it all and i knew i was in for the ride of my life......</p> <p>He touched me and it felt electric, i wanted him, wanted to feel him on me, in me up me.....i was moaning pure delight, and when he fucked me i was in a place i needed and wanted...<br> Regret, NO.....guilt, No</p> <p>I am on a bumpy road, a dangerous road and I'm loving it!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/04/06/hi-blog-land-4004121/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-03-02:/2008/03/02/babes-early-arrival-3805808/amanda322008-03-02T15:50:06+01:002008-03-02T16:00:52+01:00 <p>Well a lot has happened while i been away.... my sister-in-law has had my nephew 10 wks premature, he weighed a good 31b-9oz though. He is in special baby care but doing well. He has been named, Clayton John Peace <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><br> I havent seen him yet but hope to within the next couple of days....</p> <p class="center"><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/cadaost3cakiqe1eca0mqtsdcafm1tpncav89ljica8023bicaqfb45pcawmultgca3z0o4uca0vdkogcaf6oytecayv3jlxcaju/2380633" title="CADAOST3CAKIQE1ECA0MQTSDCAFM1TPNCAV89LJICA8023BICAQFB45PCAWMULTGCA3Z0O4UCA0VDKOGCAF6OYTECAYV3JLXCAJU"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/633/2380633_eef6768644_s.jpg" alt="CADAOST3CAKIQE1ECA0MQTSDCAFM1TPNCAV89LJICA8023BICAQFB45PCAWMULTGCA3Z0O4UCA0VDKOGCAF6OYTECAYV3JLXCAJU" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/03/02/babes-early-arrival-3805808/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-03-01:/2008/03/01/holiday-dream-3801158/amanda322008-03-01T13:51:33+01:002008-03-01T13:52:34+01:00 <p>What a fantastic week i have just had.....Centre Parcs in Nottingham is so kool!! <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><br> If you havent been then get yourself there, its good for kids and older folk alike.<br> The sun even shone, kids were really good, and to say there was 6 of them that is good!!!<br> Only thing missing was a bit of eye candy, even the life guards werent upto much lol.....ah well you cant have it all!!<br> Im a little black and blue from the rapids but its worth it, even took a dip in the ice cold rock pool, soon shot back out though <img src="/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif" alt=":DD" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/03/01/holiday-dream-3801158/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-29:/2008/02/29/harrassed-and-bored-of-it-3797966/amanda322008-02-29T17:23:39+01:002008-02-29T17:23:39+01:00 <p><img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0">Ok this Adam Antics thing is really getting boring now, but a certain Babooshka (and several other names she goes by) just cannot help herself from commenting on MY blog! This i couldent give a cows toss about, its the fact she makes sly comments on old blog stories and not with everyone elses. It seems she doesnt want everyone to know how strangely weird she is. I may be a lot of things but hey what you see is what you get with me!!!<br> I write it as it is and i dont give a fuck about what a psychotic retard has to say about it.....sticks n stones lol </p> <p>Below are just a couple of comments received, if anyone knows the score can they please let me know!! </p> <p>2008-02-27 @ 20:13<br> I don`t like snoopy eyes looking through my blog using different IP addresses, that`s why my blog was made private!<br> But you are the funniest! Who would give their telephone number to a complete stranger who they think is deranged?!!<br> And as for driving after drinking a bottle of wine and a half bottle of whisky? Oh i think you`ve deleted that post now haven`t you?<br> Laugh as much as you like at me, i`m not arsed! But i pity the person who that telephone number belongs to.....</p> <p>2008-02-27 @ 20:26<br> I can`t believe your drink driving post is still there! Sorry, i didn`t read your blog before i commented cos it makes me feel sick! !<br> I still think its a load of old bollocks though, but if you really did drive in that state then YOU need serious help hun!!! </p> <p> <strong>MY REPLY</p> <p>Seems you dont like people t see what yur really like as you only reply on this old blog page that no body sees???<br> Come on love let them see what yur really like, oh and ta for the laugh xxx<br> 2008-02-29 @ 14:12</p> <p></strong> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/29/harrassed-and-bored-of-it-3797966/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-24:/2008/02/24/oh_shit~3773886/amanda322008-02-24T17:34:20+01:002008-02-24T17:42:17+01:00 <p class="center"><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/images_devil/2366042" title="images devil"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/042/2366042_26da19ea95_m.jpg" alt="images devil" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>Well what turns my life keeps taking. I am on the verge of being divorced this morning because of some content on my computer, been found by my 12 year old daughter.<br> God, why did she snoop, how dare she go through my private things. I feel like my most secret diary has been found and read aloud. I feel so mad at her and then mad at myself that she should find a way into my personal things so easily!<br> My daughter had her friend to sleep over last night and they was on my lap top playing star dolls. It seems they thought it a good idea to snoop into my documents, even retrieving deleted files, seek and ye shall find, how fuckin true!<br> There wasn't anything worse than what you would see on a beach in Spain, I'm talking topless pictures. Why i had them, needed them, took them, i don't really know, but, i liked them.<br> So my daughter was apparently so upset she waited for her father to come home from the pub to show him.<br> To say he was mad, crazed, livid fuckin mental is an understatement. He told me i was disgusting, a bad mother, bad wife, blah, blah, blah.......<br> Well hello husband of mine, wakey, wakey i am not perfect, never said i was.......i am me warts an all!!<br> Ok im running events through my mind thinking of what all this means, and u know i havent broken the law, i havent been pornographic, i have been an adult making a grown up decision to take some topless photos. Wow nothing bad in that, nothing bad at all.<br> So why do i feel so disgusting about myself, this is not what i need right now.....god i just seem to fuck my life up every which step i take.......im so mad at my daughter for going through my things i cannot even speak to her.<br> I told my hubby i want to seperate while i think things through in my head, i dont know what i want.......what do i fuckin want????????<br> Aww well just another day.........</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/24/oh_shit~3773886/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-23:/2008/02/23/wankers_at_work~3769106/amanda322008-02-23T15:20:54+01:002008-02-23T15:20:54+01:00 <p>To say I'm pissed off is an understatement!!!!<br> Why is it managers in general are totally shit at managing??<br> I have just had the most unproductive, money wasting, shit instructions ever.....<br> Why would any logical thinking person send a person (me) on a 22 round mile trip from home, plus mileage in between calls, to an area they don't even know?? When there is a person in that exact area, who knows the route well only to send them on the same time and money wasting trip to my usual patch????????????<br> I rang the office and politely asked the senior member of staff if there had been a mix up and explained i am not familiar with the area blah, blah, blah¬!!!<br> To the response of you are mobile darlin, i say you go there you go!!! F<strong>*in bitch, ba</strong>**d, T*at head........wanted to tell her thought she was a bag of shit and lots of other stuff. But, ever the professional i bit my tongue and just said, "right". I am screwin now though, why cant i just let it go over top of my head?? Anyway i will just do it and try to keep tight lipped......arghhhhhhhhhh <img src="/img/smilies/icon_censored.gif" alt=">:XX" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/23/wankers_at_work~3769106/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-18:/2008/02/18/aww_im_pooly~3746860/amanda322008-02-18T21:18:44+01:002008-02-18T21:18:44+01:00 <p>God am i cursed or sometin lol?? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"><br> I woke up this am to find i have got a virus which is goin round. Symptoms include sore throat, sniffles, head ache and very annoying itchy ears!! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" class="middle" border="0"><br> I managed to get up and go to work with the help of paracetomols, hurray for them!<br> By the time i got home i was feeling so ill i went straight to bed, lucky my young son has a nap at this time. Im still ere in my pit and my 12yr old is an angel helping me look after her brother </p> <p>DEPRESSION..... </p> <p>Loneliness is …..<br> The empty feeling that comes from within </p> <p>Loneliness is ……<br> The longing to share your thoughts and feelings with someone who’ll listen </p> <p>Loneliness is ……<br> Reaching out for open arms to find none there </p> <p>Loneliness is …..<br> Standing in a crowed room but feeling alone </p> <p>Loneliness is …...<br> Picking up the phone but having no one to call </p> <p>Loneliness is …...<br> Knowing there is no one thinking of you </p> <p>Depression is …..<br> Feeling alone </p> <p>Depression is …..<br> Knowing this will never change </p> <p>Depression is …..<br> Knowing your best isn’t good enough </p> <p>Depression is …..<br> Knowing nothing you do matters </p> <p>Depression is …..<br> Realizing your best days have gone </p> <p>Depression is …..<br> Looking forward to the end </p> <p>Depression is …..<br> Knowing no one really cares that you are looking forward to the end </p> <p>L.. Pierson </p> <p> Depression is a world </p> <p>Depression is a world<br> Depression leaves you lost<br> Depression drops you into a never ending black hole<br> You want to get help<br> But you can't<br> When you do<br> You wish you didn't<br> Depression leaves you numb<br> With fear<br> Depression leaves you no hope<br> No ambition </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/18/aww_im_pooly~3746860/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-17:/2008/02/17/out_of_control~3742269/amanda322008-02-17T22:51:21+01:002008-02-17T22:52:55+01:00 <p>This weekend was nearly the end of everything.......and i know i am lucky to be alive!<br> After a totally shit uneventful Friday night i again got totally wrecked. After half a bottle of whisky and a bottle of wine i got in the car and hoped i would die. Selfish, stupid, idiotic, illegal, pathetic, brain dead, yep i know this is what u think as i do myself!!! I am ashamed of my actions and cannot justify them in any way, and what would the aftermath have been if i had have crashed, i dread to think. I know i must never go down that path again and must stop this distructive behaviour before the worst imaginable thing happens.......<br> <a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/images_4/2351600" title="images 4"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/600/2351600_00ec784487_s.jpg" alt="images 4" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/17/out_of_control~3742269/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-15:/2008/02/15/fridayfeelin~3732303/amanda322008-02-15T17:21:04+01:002008-02-15T17:21:04+01:00 <p>Well i cannot believe how fast the week has gone, and it is friday already! I wish i was going out, i love getting dressed up. Doing my hair, applying my makeup, making myself feel like a sexy vixen. I feel like another person when I'm out as though I'm from another time, I'm me again, fun, cool, witty and fun. But tonight i will be my dull self sat on the sofa, sat with my laptop and a bottle of wine. Two reasons for this, 1 is money, 2 is my hubby!!.....He does not like me going out, i am like a prisoner in my own home......I know i have given him reason not to trust me, to doubt me........I see the look in his eyes when i go anywhere, the look that says where are you going, i know what you are doing, the I'm watching you look....<br> Will this be it, me always the untrusted, the woman who cannot just be, the woman who stands behind a veil of mistrust...........I cannot stand it......i cannot........will not.......but it is not time.....Yet.....i will know when it is, i will!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/15/fridayfeelin~3732303/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-11:/2008/02/11/peace_at_last~3712249/amanda322008-02-11T17:34:33+01:002008-02-11T17:34:33+01:00 <p>My house has never been so quiet!! The kids are all out playing with friends and making the most of a nice sunny day.....<br> I have just got back in from a walk with the dog and have crashed onto the settee. Hopefully i will get another half hour peace n quiet!!<br> It has been a funny week, hubby has found out about chat lines, whoops!! We are having megga financial difficulties, even though we both work and don't particularly have the grandest of material items. What to do?? It appears our outgoings are more than our in-comings, Shit......<br> I am at a loss i really am....no where to run I'm like a rabbit in the headlights!!<br> Hubby said he was leaving on Saturday but it appears he is very forgiving and is still here!!<br> I am so selfish, why am i not content to just be??</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/11/peace_at_last~3712249/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-10:/2008/02/10/title~3707264/amanda322008-02-10T17:55:48+01:002008-02-10T17:55:48+01:00 <p>I need to stay positive, that's my problem, I'm so bloody bothered by what other people think of me! Anyway why do i care, what does it matter? This comes from my mum, my sisters are just the same! When we were younger it was always our fault, even if it was little tommy that was hitting us, it must have been something we had done to provoke it!<br> I had a awful childhood and feel sad to admit it, i often look at how other people grew up and envy there closeness. I am busy making sure my children never feel as i did, frightened, sad, worthless and unloved. This been my dads doing as mom was nothing but loving. But why did she stay, why did she allow us to be treated so brutally and why cant she see it now? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/10/title~3707264/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-09:/2008/02/09/the_morning_after~3702521/amanda322008-02-09T15:02:14+01:002008-02-09T15:02:14+01:00 <p>It is 2pm and i have been up a little over an hour! I feel sick, have sore feet, and a banging headache. Self inflicted ? Yes.<br> I should have been working today, but i just couldent go as i am too hung over. I was out in town with the girls and we had a gr8 time, i need to stop drinking so much, think my liver is disintergrating lol!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/09/the_morning_after~3702521/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-06:/2008/02/06/what_a_wonderful_day~3687666/amanda322008-02-06T13:24:24+01:002008-02-06T13:24:24+01:00 <p><strong>Too nice to stay inside when the sun is shining so bright, funny how a little sunshine can make you feel so happy!</strong></p> <p>The dog needs walking but today i will enjoy it ..........My son is being much nicer just lately and it is much easier and a pleasure spending time with him.<img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><br> My daughter is poorly with sickness and runs, bless her......she is in bed right now being very brave. Just waiting for the others to start with it now, tut....<img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"><br> I had a heart to heart with my husband on Sunday and told him i felt bored and wanted more attention, he was very surprised to hear this and has made so much effort to make me happy. I am blessed to have him, i love him dearly.....makes me feel like a pathetic bitch to have been feeling how i have lately!<img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_cry.gif" alt=":'(" class="middle" border="0"><br> Well i must now see to the builders, not like that lol, my slates on my roof were blown off in heavy winds, there is always something!!!<br> I would just like to thank all my blog friends for your kind words of support over the past couple of days x <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/06/what_a_wonderful_day~3687666/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-05:/2008/02/05/who_is_adam_antixx~3684337/amanda322008-02-05T20:02:33+01:002008-02-05T20:02:33+01:00 <p>I came on here today to find i have been the target of some sick joke?? I am accused of being an alias for some Adam Antixx Whoever he, she is??<br> I write a blog which i thought was an informative one just to highlight the disgusting illegal dog fighting Problem which exists.<br> I never intended to upset anyne to the extent that i have been tagged with perv, drag queen, etc<br> So anyone else who wants to send vile messages to me FUCK OFF!!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/05/who_is_adam_antixx~3684337/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-04:/2008/02/05/dog_fighting_the_truth~3680536/amanda322008-02-05T00:07:26+01:002008-02-05T00:07:26+01:00 <p>Please read blog below to see the most upsetting facts and disturbing pictures of the illegal fighting dogs.................... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/05/dog_fighting_the_truth~3680536/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-03:/2008/02/03/the_cruel_truth_some_disturbing_pics~3673860/amanda322008-02-03T17:01:20+01:002008-02-05T20:03:34+01:00 <p>I have just watched a panorama documentary on the wicked world of dog fighting. I was moved to tears and sickened by what i saw, totally unprepared by the utter inhuman and monstrous men who actually enjoy this blood sport.....<br> <p class="center"><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/abuse2/2323054" title="abuse2"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/054/2323054_29e8b94b6d_s.jpg" alt="abuse2" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>Dog fighting is a sadistic contest in which 2 dogs (usually pit-bulls) are specially bred, conditioned and trained to fight. They are placed in a pit area (usually made up of ply wood walls) to fight each other for sick spectators entertainment and gambling. Bets in the US range from $10,000 - $50,000 a win.<a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/staff1/2323056" title="staff1"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/056/2323056_f7855c0ef6_s.jpg" alt="staff1" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>These poor dogs suffer time and time again (for up-to 2hrs) until too injured, tired or ultimately death! Injury's are severe and include blood loss, shock, dehydration, exhaustion, infection, deep puncture wounds, broken bones, crushed cartilage and many more......</p> <p>Other animals are often sacrificed as well. These bait animals are often stolen pets or animals obtained through "free to a good home" advertisement's.....</p> <p>These dogs are raised under horrific conditions and abusively trained to be aggressive. This includes the use of treadmills to build up the dogs stamina and endurance and drugs to numb the pain, or in a dog fighters words "jazz it up".</p> <p>This is a growing trend and some 40,000 people are estimated to be involved in the US alone, with around 250,000 pit-bulls used. At last count there were around 500 message and chat-rooms devoted to dog fighting and the numbers are growing.......</p> <p>WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO???????????????????????????????????????</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/03/the_cruel_truth_some_disturbing_pics~3673860/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-03:/2008/02/03/love_it~3673308/amanda322008-02-03T15:01:11+01:002008-02-03T15:02:37+01:00 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/11312/2319612" title="11312"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/612/2319612_cbae4eadf4_s.gif" alt="11312" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a><br> Hope u all had a wicked wk end i did!!</p> <p>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/03/love_it~3673308/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-02-02:/2008/02/02/happy_again_so_f_k_u_depression~3668521/amanda322008-02-02T12:53:36+01:002008-02-02T12:53:36+01:00 <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/images_6/2317095" title="images 6"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/095/2317095_57dc625743_m.jpg" alt="images 6" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>I have had a complete turn around with my mood, i couldn't feel better. I am happy and i am me once more. <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"><br> Funny though cos instead of being optimistic about staying this way, i have a secret dread of the knowledge i will just go down hill again.....if that makes sense?<br> Anyone who is/has depression will know this scenario. The highs the lows the wanting to go t bed n never wake up. Well i will be optimistic i will be positive, i am in control.....its my body, my mind and ultimately me that has to think more positive.<br> I am not perfect, who is?<br> I try to be the best i can be, but usually i never feel I'm good enough. I feel unworthy to be around people, like they know whats in my head. The secret fear of ridicule or rejection takes over and it has been destroying me inside. Killing the very part of me that needs loving.<br> But no more, i am Happy Again......<img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"><br> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/02/02/happy_again_so_f_k_u_depression~3668521/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-01-29:/2008/01/30/a_whole_lot_a_nothing~3652324/amanda322008-01-30T00:01:57+01:002008-01-30T00:01:57+01:00 <p>I find for the first time in ages, well ever, i have nothing to say!<br> Anyone who knows me would be, "right yeah, you nothing to say?!"<br> I find I'm being untrue to myself at the moment, i don't know why?<br> My life feels so fake and this saddens me. I'm rambling, as i usually do when i have nothing to say......Goodnight blog land.....sweet dreams......</p> <p class="center"><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/flowers2/2310707" title="flowers2"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/707/2310707_0fbb637739_m.jpg" alt="flowers2" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>Something to make me smile....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/01/30/a_whole_lot_a_nothing~3652324/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-01-28:/2008/01/28/good_morning~3643529/amanda322008-01-28T12:01:47+01:002008-01-28T12:01:47+01:00 <p><em>After the usual madness of a monday morning i have been able to have a little me time, yes and its good. Took Gaff (the dog) with me on the school run. I was a little apprehensive leaving him in the car whilst i took the kids into class, as he was likely have a parcel waiting for me, mmmmm, that said he was a good boy and i came back to a fresh smelling interior!</p> <p>I then went straight onto the moors and had a brisk walk, which i really didn't fancy when i first got up. But it has prepared me for the day and i feel good. Cant believe it but my black cloud has almost lifted, yippee lol <img src="/img/smilies/icon_lol.gif" alt=":DD" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I'm really up for a flirt, so anybody interested?? I'm insatiable lol</p> <p></em> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/01/28/good_morning~3643529/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-01-27:/2008/01/27/lcd_or_plasma~3641541/amanda322008-01-27T22:43:26+01:002008-01-27T22:43:26+01:00 <p><em>I am amid buying a new tv, but am struggling with which is best, PLASMA or LCD? <img src="/img/smilies/grayconfused.gif" alt=":??:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I have been researching the differences and it seems that it just comes down to personal opinions! After reading how LCD tv's have come on leaps and bounds and are out selling plasmas because of some new technology, i had made my mind up, yes LCD definately! Then, 2 Min's later i was reading an article that PLASMA'S are still the best thing since sliced bread!!</p> <p>So what to do, i really don't know? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>I originally thought the bigger screen you want (i want a 42inc) then PLASMA gave a better picture where LCD were better with small TVs.</p> <p>Confusing or what?</p> <p>Anybody know anything i don't please advise..........<img src="/img/smilies/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/icon_question.gif" alt=":?:" class="middle" border="0"></em> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/01/27/lcd_or_plasma~3641541/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-01-27:/2008/01/27/hung_over~3640438/amanda322008-01-27T19:15:40+01:002008-01-27T19:18:13+01:00 <p>God how shit i feel today. Went on works annual dinner and it was fantastic! Bar was bloody expensive though! How can these places get away with robbing us like that? I really hate feeling ripped off, but that's the way of the world. My feet ache soooooo much from dancing the night away, i was red hot lol.....was also pissed as a fart!</p> <p>Didn't get up til midday...disgusting....but good <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Hubby has done everything in the house, looked after brats and cooked dinner, what a bloody star.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/01/27/hung_over~3640438/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:amanda32.blog.co.uk,2008-01-26:/2008/01/26/barbie_beauty~3634838/amanda322008-01-26T12:50:16+01:002008-01-27T18:28:58+01:00 <p>After feeling shit at my weight gain, i didnt think i could hate my body image any more!!!!<br> Thats until i stumbled on this.....yuk...looks painful!</p> <p class="center"><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/caeknf3ncay8k0jpcahrlhfgcala4iw5cayx1ttocapwezuhcadlrp6mca3xg1xecac8in41capj3kwtca62570qcax5axlncafu/2302104" title="CAEKNF3NCAY8K0JPCAHRLHFGCALA4IW5CAYX1TTOCAPWEZUHCADLRP6MCA3XG1XECAC8IN41CAPJ3KWTCA62570QCAX5AXLNCAFU"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/104/2302104_2bd4dbb25e_m.jpg" alt="CAEKNF3NCAY8K0JPCAHRLHFGCALA4IW5CAYX1TTOCAPWEZUHCADLRP6MCA3XG1XECAC8IN41CAPJ3KWTCA62570QCAX5AXLNCAFU" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>Made me think twice.....</p> <p class="center"><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/media/photo/casuiycpca58lv7xca3l3ud3ca05ji8eca4d8oe6caao42pzca5bf6alcalfq532cac9hcvmcau0e9gncahl40tfca1mp17kcamx/2304807" title="CASUIYCPCA58LV7XCA3L3UD3CA05JI8ECA4D8OE6CAAO42PZCA5BF6ALCALFQ532CAC9HCVMCAU0E9GNCAHL40TFCA1MP17KCAMX"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/807/2304807_b0bacf6243_m.jpg" alt="CASUIYCPCA58LV7XCA3L3UD3CA05JI8ECA4D8OE6CAAO42PZCA5BF6ALCALFQ532CAC9HCVMCAU0E9GNCAHL40TFCA1MP17KCAMX" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://amanda32.blog.co.uk/2008/01/26/barbie_beauty~3634838/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>